These words first became personal during a high capacity season that seemed to lead nowhere. The same words bubbled up within me while hanging out the washing just now.
Initially I interpreted the words to mean that I would continue working at capacity but, with His added grace suddenly I would become more productive and results would come my way.
Productivity is my constant muse and foe. An inclination to more….
Soon after feeling the initial prompting, the journey to living in the promised unforced rhythm of grace led me to lay down most of what I had cherished for many years, to let go, cry rivers of tears, and to the best of my ability continue to put one foot in front of the other as I carved out a new path in the darkness clinging to Him to secure my footing.
As it always does, the light at the end of the tunnel eventually came and I emerged picking up both the familiar and the new. These days life has began to get full again but this time it feels different, well mostly anyway.
On occasions, like just now, the old mantra still nips at my heels: do more, achieve more, be more, have more, need more, more…
My question is: Is there ever enough? Enough time, money, recreation, goal achieving…?
When do we get to arrive? Will we one day sit back and say, “ah yes I am satisfied.”
My moment of more came as I was simmering, frustrated at the fruits of a child free day. I hadn’t achieved ‘enough’…. New endeavours were not materialising quickly enough for my inclination to more and faster.
Books should be finished, products could be on shelves, new blogs are waiting to be launched, things need to move forward, family and home needs to flourishing- there are not enough hours in the day. I need more…
I dream of a schedule that perfectly accounts for the mundane in life; housework, naps, paperwork, etc. But a schedule that also includes margin for the divine: walks on the beach, date nights, creativity and inspiration.
But life is real… there are set backs and unexpected interruptions. God is not shocked or surprised by sudden changes to my perfectly set calendar is He? And so the verse bubbled up:
“Walk with me and work with me…. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
As I engaged in the mundane, pegging socks after dark and dreaming of simplicity I contemplated:
“Whose expectations am I not filling anyway?”
‘Need to, have to, want to, should do’…all the standards and tasks that I had fallen short of in my mind.
My mind…not His.
“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.”
Simple really. Not easy, but simple.
I sense the call to more but not more stuff more of Him…
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! 2 Corinth 6:11-13 THE MESSAGE
And so, with this post I am intent on wading a little deeper into the slipstream of the unforced rhythms of His grace.
What is your ‘more’?
Would love to hear your comments and musings…
Carly xx