The following words have echoed in my heart since I first felt them impressed upon me on a recent family holiday.
“Write….because it is who you are. It’s how I have created you.”
My husband and I had driven down to Yamba with our girls to join some close friends of ours for our first shared family holiday. Generally on holiday mode we would allow ourselves to be engulfed into a bubble of lazy days reading, reflecting, swimming, playing games, having long chats, sleeping in just enjoying the simple things.
After having kids we quickly realised they operate at a different pace. Mainly they don’t relax. At all. And so, after one failed attempt to camp with them, we were well and truly ready allow others into our holiday bubble for our own sanity really.
In an aim to do something for my personal growth, even if very small, we took the opportunity on the drive down to begin reading the book ‘Live Love Lead’ by Brian Houston. I say ‘we’ because often if we are in the car together it is common practice that the passenger has to include the driver in whatever the he/she is doing: reading out a facebook feed, giving Insta updates, reading out a text or email as it is being typed or in this case reading a book aloud. No silent treatment in our car!
Anyway as Joe was the one driving, I was the designated ‘entertainer’ and so I began reading. Within the first few chapters I found myself surprisingly all choked up and I was doing my best to maintain a normal even toned voice as I read aloud. It was obvious to me that God was softening my heart and beginning to do something new.
The next morning as I opened my bible and journal I felt nervous and expectant. Before I even began reading, I felt the words drift into my heart.
‘Write….because it is who you are. It’s how I have created you.’
For some reason at this request to “Write….” Everything with in me wanted to shout, “No way! Please don’t ask me to do that!” And I wasn’t even sure why.
I began reasoning:
“What do you mean write?
“I am writing!”
“Look here is my journal, where I write….often?!”
But deep down I knew exactly what He was getting at and it made me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.
Recently my husband and I decided to put aside a much loved role of leading and pastoring a creative team to allow more time just focus on our family. We continued to serve on our team with myself worship leading, and Joey playing guitar and music directing but we no longer carried the responsibility to lead the team. While this decision had been made willingly, without realising it, I had shut a door in my heart.
I had always loved leading, pastoring and in particular preparing the word. But as the decision to let go of a leadership role and focus on our family seemed right, I guess it was just easier to shut the door on unanswered questions and hopes of the future, walk away and try not to think about it.
And now here I was in this moment with God tapping on this door asking me to pry it back open a little. Despite a large part of me internally yelling, “please no anything but that!” the other part of me trusted His voice and I began to write. As I wrote I saw the scriptures come to life in a way so familiar to me, so dearly missed and when I finished I felt relieved. It was as if I had been held under water and had finally come up for breath. I felt like me again.
I thought of God; He is so kind and He knew.
Over the next month or so I continued the creative process of writing however, I soon realised that I was lacking the diligence of finishing my creative musings. As there was no looming deadline, I missed the step of packaging my thoughts nicely, delivering them and moving on. So this is where the inspiration came to start a blog. I wanted the motivation to finish my thoughts to completion.
The theme of a worship blog was only natural I have always been passionate about the worship of God. And so, I begin my journey as a writer, perhaps a little clunky at first but already I have found that doing what I am created to do has brought me great joy. I feel closer to Jesus as I engage in something that I enjoy.
- What inspires you?
- Is there a door that you have closed that God is perhaps gently tapping on?
He is kind, He is wise and He knows us better than we know ourselves.
In Love, Carly
Scriptures that I am reminded of as I reflect on this Spirit led adventure…
Romans 12 v2 Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it….. v3 The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us, not by what we are and what we do for Him… v6 So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
Thank you for sharing your journey! I have come to this blog via a friend on Instagram recommending it for me to check out. I immediately subscribed. You know why? Because I am currently on a similar path and I felt in tune and inspired at the direction you are going in the spirit realm, as am I. I have been blogging for six years over at One Big Sunshine Spritzer but this last year I have felt compelled to write more deeply about who I am in Christ and my spiritual journey. I will continue to write at OBSS on a creative lifestyle strand but I am in the throws of developing a new blog/site under the new name Open Vessel. I’m currently sharing random tidbits that inspire me and challenge me as I walk through life with God on Facebook – a page with the same name https://www.facebook.com/openvessel.sendme – as I couldn’t wait until the site was designed and set up and I just wanted to start sharing NOW!! LOL!
I can’t help but keep thinking maybe I’ve been experiencing life, with it’s challenges and victories and varied experiences, and God has been shaping me ‘for such a time as this’. NOW is the time.
I look forward to reading more about you and your walk with God. I’m thankful that I have been directed here – gotta be a God thing hey!?! Love how He works 🙂
Many blessings,
Anna xx
Ahhh smiles as I read this! I so relate on many levels. I too was meant to wait till now to launch and ended up kinda playing around a month ago- just couldn’t wait. I’m really enjoying exploring the online creative community and am honoured that you are joining us with so much experience. I’m sure we will learn much together. Cxx
Really lovely Carly. I especially loved the scripture in Romans…. Its so true that the only way to understand ourselves is to understand who He is, and that he knows us far more intimately than we know ourselves! Keep writing, I’m really enjoying reading. X
Thanks Cherie! Most days I just want to write scripture and leave it at that. So so so much awesomeness to uncover. Thanks for your encouragement cxxx
Carly, I think we are the same person.
(Except I’m single and kid less and now live in UK) … Where in Aust are you based? I was from Coffs Harbour!
I was pastoring there .
Loving this connection and your journey X
Isn’t it amazing hey?! I love on the Gold Coast (Palm Beach at the moment). The more I read of your stuff the more I thought the same. I was telling Joe (my hubby) all of the similarities. Can’t wait to connect more on this blogging adventure. Cxx
Yes! I even read “love, lead , live” or what ever it’s called ????
This is awesome xx
Honestly one of the most life changing books I have read other than the main one ???? so many defining moments for me.
Where were you pastoring in Coffs?
At an INC. Church , i was on the pastoral pathway, working as an intern pastor & ran red frogs.
Oh awesome! Had a little read though some of your posts tonight- you had a break from blogging I’m gathering (I’m still so new I can’t tell if I am using WordPress wrong….).
Yeah, I couldn’t do it. Didn’t have energyZ first year of teaching in an inner city London school ????????
Thanks for reading! I’m new to it all too ????
The written word is so important. You may never know the impact your words have, or who reads them, but God will use them. I’m so expectant in all God will show you and through you, others, including me. I felt like you were talking to me.
Oh Tracy you are so kind. Really humbled that you would take the time to read and take the time to respond. I feel we will all learn a lot together. I love sharing/ and hearing what God is doing amongst His people. It is so easy to forget sometimes. Writing down helps us all remember and keep Him at the centre. Thanks for sharing. Cxx
I’ve been counting down for the launch of your blog! And I’m loving it already!! You have something SO special & unique on your life & it inspires me & others to go to a deeper place of worship to our King… Not just in song, but in everyday life… Your life, voice & words lead others to worship God and I can’t wait to read more of your blog & to see the indescribable places that God takes you to this year in worship leading… I have a deep sense that it’s going to lead us under a truly open heaven! Love you xx Deni
Thanks Deni. So appreciate your encouragement. Means a lot cxx
This is great Carly. When I decided to step down from leading Kids Ministry at our former church I too after a while realised that unknowingly I have closed my heart to serving and ministry. For a while I have been feeling lost not knowing wether I should be serving on a Sunday in any capacity. After reading that scripture in Romans I have realised that by pursuing my dreams and goals with all that I have and to the best of my abilities, I am serving God. I am pursuing the opportunities that he has given me and He delights in my pursuits.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey De, thanks for responding. So great that you are finding your fit serving God. It’s so easy to carry warped perceptions of what God requires of us hey? I too am really learning that life is really to be enjoyed and in doing that we glorify God and somehow seem to be more fruitful. Still seems so upside down to me- then totally rings true to be like the Kingdom of God. Hope to hear more of how this unfolds for you.
On another note as a lover of the local church at this stage I am a huge believer in serving somewhere- big, small, hidden or upfront. Wherever it is it always kinda feels like you are a part of something thing and the lifeblood keeps pumping the impurities out and keeps us healthy- I know that’s a bit deep haha but I do believe it. Serving keeps us healthy and planted among family. What are your thoughts there?
I totally agree Carly. I need to listen to what God wants instead of presuming what I think he wants.
We have been called to serve one another. I used to think that serving in Church could only be confined to a Sunday at Church but there is so many more groups and teams in Church that need people during the week and days other than a Sunday like City Care for instance. I am absolutely loving helping out on Wednesdays when I go into the office. Its very behind the scenes but I get to interact help out and still be apart of Church. Hope this makes sense.
This is gold De!
‘Listening to God instead of presuming we know what He want’ wow! How often and how easy it is to do that. So good, thank you!