More and more I am discovering that God is revealed in the small things. 

It’s not the addition of extra things in our lives that reveal Him it’s often the absence of the extra things. Making extra space for Him- room to breathe and have His way without stumbling over the extra junk we hang onto.

‘Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.’ 2 Cor 6:12

These are the words that come to mind as I have wrestled a new level of surrender of late.

A few months ago I began praying ‘God I desire a costly anointing.’

I wasn’t entirely sure what a costly anointing was but those are the words that came out so I went with them.

Regardless of the intricacies of my prayers, my petition seems to have coincided with a new level of surrender.

He has beckoned, and I have found myself dancing the dance of indecision.

As heavenly invitation was sent out, my spirit responded “I am coming…” closely followed by my humanity which reasons: really? Is that necessary?

‘Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.’ 2 Cor 6:12

Perhaps a costly anointing can be discovered in the small details of our lives; The intentional decisions to remove distractions (or obstructions), so as to adhere more closely to His voice, to recoil from the things that can make His voice a little fuzzy…

I hear Him clearly early in the morning. I always have.

Sleep is the cost.

I could go to bed earlier, but I like staying up, and then I like sleeping in… the dance of indecision.

Small practical details, not morally right or wrong, holy or unholy, more like permissible or beneficial. Small nudges to draw closer, to remove distractions, some that seem like a normal part of everyday life in the twenty-first century.

Frankly I feel like some of these requests are not fair: just being honest.

Then I am reminded that I see only with an earthy mindset. I don’t see what He sees, I don’t see the why behind the what or what is around the corner. I may never understand what is on the other side of the price that I am willing to pay.

Is it ok that I wrestle this out before you?

Perhaps a more common state of our Christianity that we are willing to admit. It’s not a blanket set of rules and regulations that we are given in New Testament living but, instead an invitation to personally follow Christian, to discover where He would lead us. Sometimes it’s easier to hold onto what we know that trust and let go.

Our life reveals our worship of Him.

What dance are you dancing right now? And more importantly who is leading who?

Is it a dance of the heart- in step with the Spirit? Or a dance of your mind- holding fast to ‘the rules?’

I want to rest from my fumbling dance of indecision and instead dance of intimate obedience, the one He takes the lead on. 

I’ve had enough of arguing over the small details, holding onto what is ‘right’ in my heart knowing for me it is ‘wrong’. Permissible yes but perhaps not benificial for right now.

The path is narrow, costly, worth every sacrifice seen only by the Father. I desire a costly anointing. A life that all heaven applauds even if earth is none the wiser.

It is done. I surrender.

Jesus this dance is for you alone.